Smell Ya Later

Admit it, you have always wanted to smell like you crawled out of a whiskey – and perhaps, many times you have – but now, through the magic of science and whiskey, you can smell like the inside of a whiskey bottle all the time and without the hangover – and probably the ladies, because we are not sure if the whiskey scent is going to be a chick magnet for you – with Whiskey Cologne from the Portland General Store of international cosmopolitan Portland, Maine [the other Portlandia]. The scent is said to be a tag team bar fight between wood and amber and spice and floral as it originates from a 1920s and 1930s recipe while evoking a Marlon Brando effect of some sort – could be young buck “On The Waterfront” Brando, could be a deal you can’t refuse “Godfather” Brando or it could be scary, fat, drugged up Col. Kurtz Brando from “Apocalypse Now”. The horror. The horror.

Whiskey Cologne is sold online at the Portland General Store for 70 American dollars and is also said to be vegan and “at least” 85% organic [just you never mind about that other 15%].